Gruene Hall

Captain Crystal Ball

Anita wet places I know.

I cruised into Gruene with the intent of stumbling off into Gruene Hall which is about as famous a dance hall as most boot scooters will ever two-step across.

The traffic, both vehicular and pedestrian was nauseating and I passed on becoming part of the herd and drove on through and down by the river I turned into the parking lot of Bubba’s Big Deck river bank boozery and biker bar.

I wandered in and this Ol’ Thang was beatin’ on a guitar and croaking out some country tunes. He spied me right away and honed in on what he mistakenly perceived as a fresh target. He called me out as a lawdog which he said he could spot a mile away thereby proving he didn’t know Come H’yar from Sic ‘Em. I got me a cold libation and struck a convo with a couple of brothers (white boys and related to each other) who were visiting from the Fort Worth area. They were drinkin’ cool ones while their clan strolled the shops and bought T shirts and stuff.

We bonded right away and their families eventually returned to find me adopted into the family and invited to camp out and party with them. The women folks had that “Oh Crap…another drunk!” look on their faces but I swiftly put them at ease and declined any intimate association.

Gary & Mike….brothers…and nice folks!

There was a really cute little bartender named Anita and Gary and Mike (the brothers) and me kept her occupied poppin’ tops and bein’ flirtatious.

Some bikers showed up and provided new levels of interest since their ‘wimmens” were cute an sexy and not the usual 300 pounders who protect most of the cycle jockeys from being shot in the back while rumblin’ down the road.

I calls ‘em Flack Wrappers and have heard that they provided warmth in the winter and shade in the summer and can stop a bullet almost as well as Kevlar. Ain’t that cool?

Nice bunch of folks.

VRooommmm!

Anyhow, I talked them into a couple of photo op’s and then cruised on out to River Road lookin’ for a cold beer at River Road Ice-house but it was closed. I cruised on down River Road for five or six miles and took some shots of the river and scenery and got all strung out and lonesome for my youth and the energy to climb a rock just for fun and the opportunity to maybe play nekid in the water with a cute little thing with great flotation devices and amorous designs on my body.

And I realized that I wasn’t far from being a weed instead of a flower and so I left River Road before I decided to drown myself and pollute one of the prettiest rivers in Texas.

I rolled on into town past the Schlitterbahn which is German for enema I think and not seeing any Schlitters worth stopping for, I cruised on down to the town chute which is a place of great fun when it ain’t too cold to wet a weenie in the Waddaloop ! That was Texan for…… FUNNY!!!!

There were a bunch of cute kids playing around the river in their swimsuits and watching a dodo in a wet suit ride a boogie board through the chute and into the river. There were some bike people working on being healthy and of course…there was me doing my imitation of a shutterbug. I took some photos and moved on before I was accused of being a pedophile or something.

The river of the tears for my youth…..colored by the fact that I needed to pee away a cold bear! 

I used to live in New Braunfels before a flood chased me to higher ground and when I did me and a professional actor and grinch who I’ve known for years would occasionally go to Krause’s German Restaurant for vittles. It was pretty decent grub so I thought I’d ease me empty belly there. I was some disappointed to find out that they had closed down six years ago.

The place is now called Friesenhaus and it’s……….mediocre as far as what I ate which was rotkohl, sauerbraten, and german style fried taters. The beer was cold and very good.The taters were tasty. The rotkohl (german sweet/sour red cabbage) was passably fair. The sauerbraten was wousy and a poor attempt at something which I do very well.

The town chute!

Someones wonderful children growing up too fast!

A blast from the past or “Up, up and away my beautiful toupee!”

The end!